Ok here we go to another city of filthy rich Biatches.....MIAMI! It is a hot city where you don't wear a whole lot of clothes according to the new batch of housewives....it is a cultural playground for the rich, famous and powerful from around the world....It is very free and sexual....loud, vibrant and flashy....no work, just fun, party all day. It's all here. Thanks for the heads up.
We have Larsa who is married to Scottie Pippin. Her husband has all the moves and apparently lots of cash to keep her happy. Cristy is keeping it real. Attitude is everything in her world. Adriana speaks 5 languages but prefers a man with no words. Marysol puts others in the spotlight but it always seems to find her. Alexia says beauty is power if you know how to use it, and finally we have Lea who cares about alot of things but not what others think....she is the old one.
Lea...collects people....she likes outrageous people....she is basically a star F'er. She is old, washed up and ugly, but apparently has alot of contacts because she is older than dirt. Her husband met her while she was a juror on the William kennedy Smith trial where he was a lawyer....She has a kid RJ that has huge feet. They live in a huge tacky mansion. She is a party planner/party goer/party filler.
Larsa is Scottie Pippin's plastic wife...she is lebanese and Syrian. People always thinks she is a latina....poor her. She has been married to Scottie for 14 years. They live in Ft. Lauderdale, basically the only place you can have a boat in your backyard...what a deep thought. They have 4 kids. 3 boys and a girl. She gives us a rundown of them but do we care? Not really. She manages life in the Pippin mansion. She even cooks dinner every night. Being married to Scottie requires her to look great. Has Scottie looked in the mirror lately???
Adrianna is a mom dating some old looking dude Fredric. She is an art gallery owner, who went to law school but then decided to go back to art. Alex is her sunshine. Her boyfriend has always had a crush on her but couldn't act on it....because she was married. When has that ever stopped anyone??? He pounced on her when the divorce became final and asked her to marry him 3 weeks later. She is the queen of Miami. She loves how she is so desireable....gag!
Larsa is going to a gun range to learn how to shoot a gun. OK isn't that why you have EDT? Everyone has a gun laying around in case they need to shoot the nanny....STUPID! and dangerous.The instructor is copping a feel everytime the gun kicks back....he is loving this and I suspect sporting wood. Larsa is a confident person who has always wanted to be an action hero. UGH! That is why there are gun laws.
Next up is Cristy...kind of has a horseface. She is Cuban/American. She grew up here. She is strutting in a bikini drinking a mojito in a plastic cup on the beach. She is was married to Glen Rice of the NBA. They are divorced and it is messy. She of course has a psychic....who has a sidekick that looks like baby Jane! The psychic is feeding her a line of BS and she is loving it. Ay Yi Yi!
Miami Fashion Week: They arrive early and of course Adrianna likes to get there last to make a statement and not look desperate. She thinks she is J-Lo and the other girls are ripping her up behind her back. They are gawking over men in Speedos....yuck! banana hammocks are not sexy in any language or country. They get to meet the designers backstage and Adrianna is looking for the models to take to dinner....alrighty then...desperate much? Adrianna is proving to be an embarassment to the other women. Cristy and Larsa are dying! Hey...everyone LOOK AT ME!
Alexia is working out with her trainer...surprisingly a female. She is known as the Cuban Barbie. Who says that shit? She is also a woman long in the tooth desperately hanging on! She should not dye her hair blonde it looks really bad and damaged. She has 2 kids from a previous marriage. She is married to an old guy who owns a Spanish magazine. He looks like a dad....but he is rich so he now looks hot I guess.
After the fashion show the trio goes to a private club where they grill Adrianna. They toast each other and look around the room to get noticed. Larsa is pretty normal. the other 2 let it all hang out. She is a fun vampire in their eyes. She wants to get home to Scottie....they all leave but not happily.
Marysol owns a PR firm that employs only young good looking girls....is she a madame? She is talking about her boobs and how plastic surgery isn't an option....LIAR! She dates younger men....Her lips are like a shelf. She is unable to frown or show emotion....YIKES!
Back to Alexia who looks much better at a distance...she thinks she is seen and acts alot younger than she is...maybe because the botox has paralyzed her brain from progressing beyond 12...she has a 17 yr old son and lets us know that people in Miami view drinking with their kids as something social...ummmm drinking a Pepsi is social, drinking a beer is illegal....but she has strong views over a curfew....whacka doodle!
Adrianna is back on the screen...oh Joy. She is talking to her son, who i bet she tries to pass off as her younger brother.
AHHHHHHHH Marysol is with her mother on TV. If that is any way an indication as to what she will look like at 70 shoot yourslef now! she looks like that woman that had plastic surgery to look like a cat. She is very spiritual and a drunk I suspect. I may have to start drinking just to look at her. She gives good relationship advice supposedly, I suspect it is because she observes stuff because she is so frightening to look at. I am finding myself fast forwarding through this washed up Charo! I think Marysol is smiling...I can't tell!
Lea is finally getting screen time. She is having a cooking party. She is such a queen Bee...all the chicks arrive....big sunglasses, bling and clevage. Larsa wants to go horseback riding but the women poo poo that idea. They are afraid to fall and break their necks. i think they are scared to crack their make-up. Lea is addicted to her Blackberry....now the cooking lesson begins...they all wear chef hats and proclaim they look good in anything. PUKE! Lea is the one that you either love or hate...I suspect she will be hated by the end of the season. Alexia isn't going to like her I bet....watching them hack the food is unbearable....they are all self proclaimed experts...these broads are annoying. Only Pippin's wife is likeable so far.
Now comes the good part...dinner....let's listen to their sad ass stories! Everyone loves Scottie pippin....Adrianna keeps postponing her wedding, because she gets cold feet. I think it is because she wants to keep her options open but have someone there to play with her kid. Everyone talks about their 1st husbands and how their husbands all said they were going to get married...Adrianna talks about getting a phone call from a woman claiming to be married to her 1st husband at the same time she is married to him....now that happens all the time right? She then goes on to tell us that he hooked up with an escort and had a common law marriage....isn't that called an affair??? Lea collected Adrianna because she was sleeping on the floor of her art gallery, what a saint? So apparently Adrianna owes her life to Lea. Lea will remind her of that all season.
There is going to be lots of drama this season....Adrianna will piss everyone off, Lea will piss everyone off and marysol's scary looking mom will become a fan favorite....she is like a psychic clown looking witch who will mesmerize us......looks like a good season afterall
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